After 6 weeks of not dating, I finally met up wif Larling! Yay! :p We went to eat wif his fren @ Funan, then go East Coast Lepak, play pool.... he won all the games : ( cuz everytime I try to put in the black ball, the white ball goes in as well.. haiyah...

Aniwaes here are the pixies...


Gue rindu banget ngan nie moto... lama tak ride atas die hehe :p


Mcm adik & abang. Ryte? Cuz he's much2 older than me...


Oklah.. gue mau cabotz dulu... daaaaaa :p

Love life?
Still not doing good. Never seen him for the past 2 weeks. He's always BZ. Tak romantic sungguh... hmmmph!

Social Life?
Improving. Been going out almost everyday. Hehe :p

Personal Life?
Been thinking alot about personal achievements, goals and finding ways to motivate myself to improve all the other aspects of my life.

Domestic Life?
Haiyah... this one no need to say. Everyday's the same. Mummy will nag n nag n nag.

Student life?
Dissertation is the top priority. And then there's attachment. Just did an estimated 10km site visit @ One North just now. Damn sian leh.

" U noe wad.. Its been a year or more since we reali went out on a date. I noe ure always bz n all tat but as ur GF, I do expect much more than juz ____. Ive been giving so many hints 4 u to ask me out bt all i get r empty promises. Sad to say this, wen u're beside me, i dun wan to let u go away or go hm, but wen u're far i realize tat i dun reali nid u 2 b wif me at all.."

"I will spend the tym with u dear more often k. I love u k syg."

"I dun even noe if i can believe tat. Aniwaes, ____ does have her own life. N she has a guy who wld do aniting 4 her bt they r jus frens. Her constant company is wats been keeping me happy n alive. Sumtymes tat guy even ask me where's my BF. N its very sad tat each time he asks, da onli ans i cld give is tat u're bz working. Org yg tk rapat ngan I sendiri can tel that I'm very lonely."

"Syg i know im at fault. I know im bz with myself. I know where i stand. Im sori syg im useless im myself 4 there is no tym 4 u. I knew ur frenz sure comparing this to me.Nvmlah since u do not want to talk to me. I just want to say that I love u so much syg. N I always do."

"I like u as a person bt mebe its time 4 u to let me go cuz u simply hav no time for our relationship, wat more 4 ureself."

"No I love u dear. N I always do."

"Da most saddest ting is tat u noe Im lonely bt u dun wan to do aniting about it. Then wat for u jady matair i? Mite as well we jus go our separate ways so u can continue working and wif ur budak2 n i can continue my social life back."

"No I want u by my side the rest of my life.."

Hehe *cair*..
Degil jugak BF nie *grinz*

The Perfect Gentleman?

I remembered about a year ago, me & my "so-called" friend had a dispute about finding "The Perfect Man". At that point of time, she wasn't in a relationship yet. I was still at the early stages of my relationship wif BF. The dispute wasn't really a heated argument. I guess at some point during the course of our decent conversation, it turned into a hot debate about her "perfect gentleman" VS my "not-so-perfect" former and current BFs/BF.

She HAD been in a relationship only once, as I recall. And it lasted only 3 months. And throughout the whole relationship, her BF had been telling lies all along, and played around wif her heart. The situation climaxed when one day her BF told her that he was admitted into Changi Hospital suffering from a certain sickness, and she rushed all the way down to the hospital only to find that the situation wasn't actually true. How Stoopid. And from then on, she couldn't trust guys anymore.

I, on the other hand... have been dating around and been in short term relationships since I broke up wif my 1st love in 2001. And every time I was in a new r/s, I'd show their pictures to this "so-called" friend. The comments are ALWAYS negative. So Expected of her. She always had someting to criticize about the persons I was currently dating at that time. She wasn't supportive of my decisions and wasn't keen on the idea of achieving happiness by being in that simple yet short relationship at all. Sometimes, it felt as if she doesn't respect me as a person and as her friend. Most of the time, I just wanted to give her a tight slap and wake her up from her constant criticizing and negative feedbacks about me and my relationships.

Aniwaes, the debate centred around her idea of the "perfect gentleman". I wouldn't describe the characteristics lah. Got so many. But just hang around the idea of "perfect" and u'll know what I mean. It means the total opposite of jerks, motherfathers, liars and guys whom u've once loved so much but end up hurting u so much that the pain was so unbearable.

I kept emphasizing to her that there is NO such person as the "perfect gentleman". But she kept opposing my opinion. She's so stubborn!

She believes that one day she'll meet her dream guy, the guy who knows what to say at any given situation, someone good, decent with lots of money, someone responsible and kind and "layak" to be with her. Hahaha... but my dear friend.... that is all only a DREAM. I dun believe in all that. Our mothers read to us the same Fairytales that was read to them when they were young. Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast and Sleeping Beauty all met with their Prince Charming and lived HAPPILY EVER AFTER. But life's ain't a fairytale. If only life WAS a fairytale... all of us would live HAPPILY EVER AFTER wif our Prince Charming - the one and the only perfect guy for us. Cuz the truth is my dear friend, Prince Charming doesn't exist in reality.

The guys that I have been wif or I am wif now... they may not be the "Perfect Gentleman" like u always dreamed of, but they were the perfect solution to fill up an empty soul. The presence of a man in my life doesn't necessarily have to complete me, but just their company and our shared experiences, is good enough for me. Some of them may be money swindlers, using my hard-earned cash at any given opportunity, some just wanna have fun, some gave a thousand empty promises... but one thing's for sure, I've never come across the "perfect gentleman". Is there such a man? R u Sure u can find your DREAM GUY?

Even IF there's a DREAM GUY, I'm sure he's not totally perfect. There may be thousands of flaws surrounding him. You may never know. I watched The Oprah Winfrey Show. This lady lead a luxurious life filled with trips to France, Greece, Maldives, had a private jet, a private yacht and had a 5-storey townhouse. Her husband was a doctor and she'd been married to him for 3 yrs. He was not only the most intelligent guy she'd ever been wif.. but he was her best friend. He said all the perfect words she wanted to hear at the right time. To me, he was such a manipulative idiot. On her birthday, he left her mysteriously and never came back but a check wif the banking account stated that his account was still up and running and that he was still alive. He left her wif 6 million dollars in debt. 6 MILLION DOLLARS! No word from him at all. So pls ladies... there is NO such person as the "perfect gentleman" or "dream guy" or "perfect man" whatsoever. Dun let guys take advantage of our vulnerability as weak women. Some of us may be weeping, crying and getting emotional over breakups with BFs whom we thought were perfect for us when at the current moment, he may sipping champagne with another women and laughing at our stoopidity and how easily we believe his promises and fall into his trap when all he ever wanted was a bit of fun. It's not easy to think about this, but Reality Bites. And it bites deep and hard. If he doesn't take us seriously, chances are... we're just another stepping stone for him.

Thinking about BF... he may not be perfect one, he's not rich, doesn't always say the right words, and we seldom spend time wif each other. He may not be Prince Charming, but he does listens to whatever I say, and takes it seriously. To be wif him may not be the best option in life, but its the best option at this moment. I cherish him too much :)

Cherished Neoprint Moments...

Its exam period!!! Yayyy~~! Hahahha... can't wait for this misery to end on 4th May! Had my 1st paper on Construction Cost at freaking 9am in the mawning jus now and guess what... I didn't do one question! And its worth 25 marks! But I didn't regret cuz I suck at theory questions. I completed all the calculations.. We'll just hope that Prof Ling closes one eye eyyy..

In the meantime, look what I've discovered.... old neoprints! Nothing much, but each neoprint have a story of their own. Here's the 1st neoprint that I ever took with my best friend Yana and the "so-called" (friend?) Yasmin in 2001 @ Heeren's Annex. We took this after collecting our free Peanut Chocs @ the carpark outside Somerset MRT courtesy of LIME Magazine, if I'm not wrong.. hehe.. The most suckiest part of the day is when Mom calls me @ 7pm on my hp and forced me to go home @ that point of time. Haiz... c lah 16 yrs old also have curfew @ 7pm. Sucks ryte. But the most memorable thing was that it was the 1st tyme we went to Town together (although it was a short 3 hour thingy) and all of use we wearing skirts! Haha.. I still remember those were the times when the ketat nak mampos denim skirt with killer slits high up the thighs were in trend. Ahhh dari situ uh I was "branded" the Minah by my "so-called" (friend?). Haha.. pakai skirt pendek, sexy sikit jer dah kena "branded" minah... apelah naseb aku...

And this pic... was taken wif Ira, my "so-called" best friend and good pal during Mendaki Tuition days. We shared alot of problems together, even studied the big O's together @ Bukit Gombak stadium (hehe.. aku tau... kental kan..). But too bad lah kan.. cuz of her scandal with my 1st love.. LIFE WAS NEVER THE SAME AGAIN. I can't get back with him, and she.... just ran away from everything. Haiz...


Ahhh and this pic with Fizah... nie lah zaman GEMILANG Minah2 aku... when I was 17 yrs old and 1st year in Pioneer JC. See the ugly thin eyebrows? And if u see closely... I looked abit tanned cuz I played RUGBY when I was in JC! haha... tak percayekan...

Aniwaes, Fizah was also my good friend during the PERKASA CAMP days where I met my ex Shafiee and made friends with Ryhan and Fahrin. But I lost contact with all of them now :( Sob Sob... And during the camping days, I was the oldest there... so all the kiddies looked up to me lah... yelah dah Minah... pastu nak step "Kakak-kakak" plak kan... But what to do... during dinner mesti aku yg masak nasi, aku yg masak sardine... bagy kiddies2 tu sume makan... Thats the best camp ever for me... :)

And this pic... is wif my closest Cuzen ever... we grew up with each other for the 1st 10 yrs of my life... and then my family moved to Bkt Batok... this pic was taken after our trip to Jemputan @ JB. It was the 1st time I followed my Maklong to JB with her...

And this is us again... and I looked so DAMN tanned! Haha... rugby of course! And still in 2002! This pic was taken after our trip to Police Academy in June for their Police Carnival... I miss this gerl man...


And this pic... was taken in 2003 after my A levels! Hehe... dah kembali putih dan berseri mcm Anak Angsa. This was taken in Bugis after our picnic @ Changi Beach. I didn't noe who suggested the place, but we only spent like an hour @ Changi Beach cuz shortly after we arrived, the rain came down heavily! Basah kuyup sume! Good thing I brought 2 shirts.. hehe... but nevertheless... it was memorable cuz I went through those times with THEM : )



Our reunion again... but this one I realli can't remember where.. I jus put it in to remind Yana that she looked like an Auntie wif her glasses on! hAHAHa... naseb baik ko dah JAMBU skrg wif ur contact lenses! Kalao tak mesti maseh kene Kutok ngan aku :p (Jgn marah ahhhh....)


And this one ... PROM NYTE 2003! So ugly ryte... everyone else wore beautiful gowns and all of us MALAYS from Class A06 and A08 put on our baju kebayas and baju kurungs! When I thought back about it... typical Melayu! Haha... dah qualified bley jady Makcik2 & Datin terkemuka kat S'pore nie.... asal ade function jer pakai Baju Melayu.. But the funniest thing was.... we wore this... and me & Fizah walked ALLLL the way to Far East Plaza with our high heels and BAJU kebaya... just to take this neoprint! And alllllll of the people were STARING at us! Hehehehe... slenger sakk... now thought about it... We were a MAJOR EMBARRASSMENT!


Yay! Back to me n Yana's pic.... this was in 2004... my 1st yr in NUS day when I often meet up wif Yana & Yasmin after my skool... and always hangout @ Jurong Point! See Yana without ur specs, u look tons prettier!

And this was also the time when I wanna step mcm minah JEPON2 uh kirekan pi skolah pon pakai kimono blouse... cheyyy mcm betol jer... :p

Remember the sexy girl Miki, Nasha? These were still in 2004 when I 1st met up wif Nasha & Miki! Very pretty & Jambu ladies.. whom I got to know from Anakmelayu.com. Its amazing how so many of my frens came from that website and I STILL keep in touch with them ti'll today..




And then during the 3 month holidays in 2005, I met up with Eqa. Asik bebual pat telepon, tapi tak pernah jumpe... The 1st time, we met @ Bugis ate @ Tong Seng. Haha asal jumpe jer mesti nak makan takde keje lain... After that, we proceeded to take these neoprints and had a meet up wif Saiful. Haha.. I still remember that time I had a crush on Saiful (which was a stoopid crush lah)... but then he told my other friends that he didn't like me... haha... kecoh sak tu... sampai ade scandal with someone... I remembered... the gerls me, Eqa, Nooreen and Nasha keep talking about that during our conferencing session... gosip tak abez2...




And then in July 2006, after I came back from holiday @ Penang, I met up wif Eqa and brought her to have a view of the City from Equinox @ the top of Swissotel...

And I also remembered that we bought alot of hairbands! Haha... aku nye purple ngan hijau.. kao nye... putih eh? Hahah kao nye colour aku tak ingat sak... Aniwaes, looking @ this pic, reminds me so much of my beloved long, long Rapunzel hair.. BF told me jus now that he didn't want me to cut my hair again... Haiz... baru ingat nak potong slope... Buruk sgt ker rambot aku skrg? Haha.. aniwaes.. sape nak pi dgr ckp dier kan... nanti dah dpt lesen moto.. ah siap ah... mesti potong slope nyer jady senang nak pakai helmet. Hehe...

This pic also reminded me of the time when Eqa was really @ a happy stage of her life cuz she was losing weight. Actuali to be honest, she realli looked jambu @ that time. Totally different. And I'm glad that she was happy wif her body : ) Look @ the neoprints and u can see how different she looked from the year before...


And finally.... the neoprint with our little get together @ Cathay CIneleisure during term break... Everyone wore long skirt except for me... juz jeans and a tank top... and an UGLY necklace. I was late for the meet-up cuz.. I think I was not feeling well or I woke up late.. tak ingat sgt.. but the thing that I remembered was.... we watched a BORING movie! And I was shivering in the cold movie theatre... about halfway asleep! Nasib baik contact lens tak dry out.

Looking @ these neoprints, I realized how much I've grown up to be the person that I am now.. and that all those lovely memories are still captured in my mind until today. It makes me feel good that I have great friends around me all the time. It awakens me from the sinking feeling I have each time I lost a friend or lose contact with them. It makes me cherish the ones around me more that I ever have. And I hope that my friends will stay true to me, cuz I noe that I will. I miss you guys.

And even after all thats said....

I STILL MISS MY RAPUNZEL HAIR!

Haha.

Manicure fun!

Exams are finally starting on Monday. Yay! 2 weeks of pure hell... and then attachment starts for 2 whole months!

Have been doing not-too-intensive revision for the past 3 weeks. But seriously, only started started officially studying the last 3 days. Biaselahkan... slack mau lebih, asalkan otak jgn pecah. Lagypon... exam is open book and mostly my papers are application. Jady wanna study so much for what ryte? Its not like you can copy what have been taught into the exam scripts.

So, been exercising my creativity again.. this time would be personal manicure sessions! Not very professional though.. hehe...




This colour is my favourite!

I was so sick of studying, I ripped open a packet of M&M's courtesy of my friend... and ate piece by piece, page by page.... sebab tu cepat bace...

Not forgetting my great companion.... Brownie junior... he/she(Still dunno the gender yet) is only 4 wks old. So cute and cuddly... geram! He/She even shared my M&M's! Hehe :p Kalao tk sakit perot pon memang naseb uh...

And here are more designs...




I'll be back with more... once exams end of course!

And also for the first time in many months.... I'm slouching at home for the weekends! Unbelievable!

It's been 24 hrs since TP.

I STILL can't get over it though, but I'm trying to.

Syah introduced me to someone new... haha... ade2 je kao eh...

Make sure u dun talk bad about me to him if not I'll smack u up n down! :p

After that I'll feed u wif Salmon Sashimi! Haha... cuz u r the big grizzly bear!

*yum yum*

Speaking of Sashimi, I miss going out for Buffet Dinner!

There's this International Buffet Dinner @ The Greenhouse @ Ritz Carlton.

Should be quite pricey but saw the menu online and I thought the food was quite nice!

Amacam Syah... aku pass TP kao blanje aku makan sane eh?

Hehehehe :p *Luv u!*

I've got sad news.

I failed my TP by 10 points.

All due to that stoopid slope.

Should have never changed to Gear 2. Should've just stayed in Gear 1.

Haiz....

But... at least I know the procedures for TP oready.

Next TP is in one month's time. Wish me luck!

But hey.... think and think again.... even if I passed TP, I haven't got the money to buy a bike.

It's either XR2, Gilera, CBR150 or KR.

XR2's still the feveret!

But BF wants me to buy a 'wave' type bike. Very cheap and easy to maintain.

Yah ryte... Like I'm gonna listen to whatever he says.

Moto die besar nak mampos beli mahal2, nak maintain pon mahal, die nak suro org beli yg kecik2 yg murah2 plak... Pi jalandah...

Haiz.... I mishh my very own BoNCiTTtt so very much...

RelationSHITS & Commitment

Some people have been doubting my commitment towards BF. Commitment? What's the true meaning of that word in this world? For me, I don't believe in commitments (BF-ship wise). It just makes life a whole lot complicated and complex. It makes us GFs emotional and whiny when BF doesn't wana tok to us when he's abit bz. It makes us call him all the time to check out his current doings. It makes us insecure and invincible to think that he'll look at other girls when he's standing right next to us. It makes us tear, cry and throw tantrums when he refuses to meet us often. Then we suspect a whole lot of crazy ideas about him when all the time, he's actually at work. And u noe why we suspect stoopid things? Cuz we expect him to be committed and have eyes for us and ONLY us. If he expects us to be committed only to him and if he even looks away at another girl, we consider it as unfair. After that argue and quarrel sampai nak stengah mampos about this stoopid commitment/kesetiaan thingy. At the end of the day, it makes u wonder. Can I remain as a really, truly die-hard-fan of commitments? And by this, it means.... no going out with other guys (even friends or close friends of childhood frens whatsoever) except your BF, no msging other guys except ur BF, no looking or admiring other guys except ur BF, no scandals, no going out with ur girlfriends unless BF approves of it. For me.... merepek uh nie sume. Puas hati suro BF masokkan kite dlm fridge pastu lock, buang kunci dlm laut.

BF once said to me,"Saye takyah bilang awak pon awak tau yg saya sentiasa menyayangi awak." It's true. With him, I dun feel insecure. I don't need to constantly call him up to check up his whereabouts cuz I know he'll either be working his ass off, at home lepak watch DVDs, sleep or at kedai kopi lepak-ing with his frens. It's the same vice versa. He noes that I love him. Kesetiaan nie sume takyah nak dipertikaikan slalu. It comes from within your heart. Even though I got many guy friends, and I go out with them, it doesn't mean that I'm putting my BF aside. BF knows how I talk to guy frens cuz he's seen the way I talk to his guy frens, which surprisingly, he lets me sit down and talk with them all even though he's not there. So I dun think this guy fren issue is a big problem. But, I admit, he does gets jealous when I mentioned a certain somebody's name.. which I shall not disclose of. Hehe... jealous tandanye syg, betol tak?

Actually right, I'm out of the topic oready... tok about commitment... but dah melalut sampai topic lain plak.

Aniwaes, the actual thing I wanna highlight today is about relationships lah. Ntah knape tiba2 topic jiwang plak yg aku nak blog about.

The thing is that I observe that some people.. or let's say girls... very the kesian lah. No freedom to go out without BF's permission lah, no freedom to talk to whoever they want, senang ckp no freedom to socialize. I mean... nie sume mcm zaman aku 16 tahun nye time... budak2nye fikiran... terlalu ghairah sgt nak matair, bile matair step i love u u love me, pastu bile pompuan atau laki salah sikit je nak mintak break. Merepek kan. Kalao dah takde freedom sume... nak step setia or committed ke whatever shitz lah kan... I love u u love me... kalao u tak kasi I main, kite break. The relationship has no meaning already sey. Atao lagy best... "Sape budak laki yg admire u nie? Dah tau u lawa, sexy sume... abih nak sibok2 kacau u. Ape nama die? I nak cari die ngan budak2 I kite rembat die, kasi mampos." Mak kao... nie lagy sudah terang uh mcm MatRep nye pikiran. Step nak rembat kaperrrr? Polis dtg jer sume cabottzzz.... Hahaha...

Actualli i tok so much lah. Alot of things on my mind.
To be contiNUDE.....