Helo peeps! Dah lama tak update blog sey... I've been extremely bz with my attachment... Hari2 keje aku kire pokok kat Nepal Park. Our task is to do a Greenery Mapping of Nepal Park. Mark out the trees according to their positions on a map, then haf to measure and record the diameter of the canopy and to identify the various species of trees. Leceh kan...... ? Furthermore, the weather's been very hot and humid, so everyday I'll sweat on site. Dah berpeluh, lap kasi kering then berpeluh balik.. waduhhhh peh lah azab... Tu takpe, hari2 aku jady pembunuh. Pembunuh nyamok! Hehehe... kuang asam nye nyamok... dah dpt isap darahku yg manis nie takpe, die meninggalkan kesan plak tuh. My body now itches and I've grown a very unusual rash. I think some other insect bit me until I had to go polyclinic for medications. I've experienced many side effects, including turning 3 shades darker than my original shade. Dah itam berlegam! Teringat balik tat time nak kua umah, I only put on Sunblock on my face without makeup... My mum ckp mcm Org Minyak! Hahahahha... kuang asam nye Ibu! Takpe... takpe... Hari nie, hari Ibu, besok hari Jumaat. Heh. :p
Aniwaes, last weekend I went to Sentosa wif Darling's friends. Mandi laut, main captain's ball, soccer, main monkey... quite fun but I thought it was not too well-planned. Bey si boncit nie nak step pakai all-black plak. First2 pakai baju putih, pastu bile die tersedar perot die nampak besar, tukar plak colour hitam. Hahaha... nampak jugaklah mane bley sembunyi bende2 mcm nie.... Here are the pixies that I managed to take ; )
Actualli, besides all these fun times, there are certain things that's been bothering my mind. After the sentosa outing, I overnyte wif BF. We met his friends @ midnyte to play pool, then he got news from his werkplace that 2 of his workers were stabbed. So he, being a person yg "Jiwa Members", went to Bukit Merah to investigate the matter. And he left me alone wif his friends whom I just go to know. Berani plak dekni. I feel abit sad ah cuz he left me just like that. I thought he would bring me along, but he said he was in a hurry and told me to go back to his house after eating @ the Kedai Kopi. I stayed awake for him to come back and he reached home only @ 4am. I was sooo sleepy.
The next day, I packed my stuff and we went out around 12 noon cuz he was supposed to send me home. Dok kedai kopi jap cuz he had to go back to his house to change into his "Design" shirt cuz later going Escort for his friends wedding. I waited for him for almost an hour. Eh eh... dekni kalahkan aku plak.... nak tukar baju pon takkan take such a long time kan. But when he returned, he was still in his polo-t, he never changed cuz his "Design"-T got stains. I was abit pissed off lah. Actuali, my mum had called me up and told me to go home straightaway. She didn't know that I overnyte wif BF. If she knows, abez ah pinggan mangkok sume bley terbang. Tunggu BF salin baju, it was already 1pm +++. Then he said, tak sempat nak send me home cuz budak2 die sume dah tunggu, so I had to follow him to the wedding - in my jeans and T. Malu sey... tapi buat muke mcm kulit gajah ajelah... ape nak buatkan...
After the wedding, it was already 2pm +++. He was supposed to send me home a.s.a.p cuz my parents were waiting for me cuz they had to go to TTSH to visit my uncle. We refuelled his bike @ Shell and for 30 mins, he was on the phone wif his fren. Then left me there staring into space. Mcm budak bodoh plak die buat aku nie. I was really pissed off lah.. but naseb baik tahap kesabaran aku nie blom kat puncak lagy. By the time he finished his conversation, it was close to 3pm. Then he made a "brilliant" suggestion. He had to go to werk @ 5pm @ Clementi, so he asked me to relax 2 his house until 4pm, then otw to werk, he'll send me home. Ewah2... pandainye budak nie... org dah lambat nak balik rumah, die sengaja lambat2kan lagy plak... I told him my parents have been waiting for me to reach home for the past 3 hours, I hope he understands my situation. Tibe2 jer die mengamok. He said that I'm like "Kerbau dicucuk hidung", always following whatever my parents say and dunno how to think for my own sake. I told him back that if it's so hard for him to send me home, then just send me to Eunos MRT, I can go home by myself. Betol aper... dah dari kol 12 aku tunggu ko antar aku balik... and I've been tolerating wif ur nonsense... this is what u say to me. After that die mengamok ah... I looked @ the ground and said that he doesn't understand my situation, how my parents are. Then he forced me on the bike and sent me home. Bwk moto mcm org giler... main2 selit2 sana sini... betol sak dekni mcm nak kene smack jer ngan aku. When he dropped me off, he didn't even kissed me goodbye or said aniting, he just blast off. He left me standing @ the carpark all alone. Fcuk.
And for the past 3 days, we didn't contact each other. Until he msged me yesterday, "U don't even care whether I'm ok or not." I replied, "Becuz of certain sacrifices i make to spend time wif u, my mum did not talk to me for 3 days. N nw, my dad's in hospital admitted again. N u have da cheek to say dat i dun care for u wen u were the one who walked away from me without even looking back. Fikir sendiri ah. I malas nak ckp lagy."
He replied," Ur parents is so demanding!"
Fcuk lah! Yes, all parents are demanding wad. They wan the best for their child, cume kite jer tak faham kemahuan mereka.
Then I replied,"U r da one who's being demanding. U wan me to b lyke other gerls tapi hakikatnye, memang I tak boley sebab ada halangan dari pihak lain. U yg tak faham. U yg nak semua org ikot rentak u. If u dun understand my situation, then 4get about us."
He haven't replied until now. Biarkanlah... biar die fikir sendiri.
I've just got too many things on my mind.
About the overnyte thingy, my parents already suspected that I went out wif him. My mum asked me whether I'm serious wif him, whether I'm still wif him. I just kept quiet. Then she told me that if I'm serious, my dad would go to his house this week to meet his parents. He wants to talk to his parents, and is ready to marry me to him. Kire mcm nak lepas tangan ah. After that, he doesn't want to tanggung all my expenses, even my skool expenses. All of that will be paid by BF. I hate to be in this situation. He wants to force me to marry him cuz he doesn't wan to tanggung all the sins that I've done outside of marriage. I think. And also, he has already told me previously that he doesn't restu my relationship wif BF becuz my dad and his mum sepupu. We are already related.
What should I do????
Furthermore, right now.... I'm already feeling the uncertainty of my feelings towards BF. I feel as if... I no longer need him. It's like his presence doesn't matter anymore. I dunno lah. Actualli, the way out to all my problems are simple. Easy. End my relationship wif BF. Jalannye sudah terang. But to end this relationship, is not that simple. Ingat senang ke mcm budak2 matair skejap bey mintak break. I have to think deep..... choose the best way out.... to make everyone happy. It's not easy. Emotions will crack.
How ah?
Aniwaes, last weekend I went to Sentosa wif Darling's friends. Mandi laut, main captain's ball, soccer, main monkey... quite fun but I thought it was not too well-planned. Bey si boncit nie nak step pakai all-black plak. First2 pakai baju putih, pastu bile die tersedar perot die nampak besar, tukar plak colour hitam. Hahaha... nampak jugaklah mane bley sembunyi bende2 mcm nie.... Here are the pixies that I managed to take ; )
Actualli, besides all these fun times, there are certain things that's been bothering my mind. After the sentosa outing, I overnyte wif BF. We met his friends @ midnyte to play pool, then he got news from his werkplace that 2 of his workers were stabbed. So he, being a person yg "Jiwa Members", went to Bukit Merah to investigate the matter. And he left me alone wif his friends whom I just go to know. Berani plak dekni. I feel abit sad ah cuz he left me just like that. I thought he would bring me along, but he said he was in a hurry and told me to go back to his house after eating @ the Kedai Kopi. I stayed awake for him to come back and he reached home only @ 4am. I was sooo sleepy.
The next day, I packed my stuff and we went out around 12 noon cuz he was supposed to send me home. Dok kedai kopi jap cuz he had to go back to his house to change into his "Design" shirt cuz later going Escort for his friends wedding. I waited for him for almost an hour. Eh eh... dekni kalahkan aku plak.... nak tukar baju pon takkan take such a long time kan. But when he returned, he was still in his polo-t, he never changed cuz his "Design"-T got stains. I was abit pissed off lah. Actuali, my mum had called me up and told me to go home straightaway. She didn't know that I overnyte wif BF. If she knows, abez ah pinggan mangkok sume bley terbang. Tunggu BF salin baju, it was already 1pm +++. Then he said, tak sempat nak send me home cuz budak2 die sume dah tunggu, so I had to follow him to the wedding - in my jeans and T. Malu sey... tapi buat muke mcm kulit gajah ajelah... ape nak buatkan...
After the wedding, it was already 2pm +++. He was supposed to send me home a.s.a.p cuz my parents were waiting for me cuz they had to go to TTSH to visit my uncle. We refuelled his bike @ Shell and for 30 mins, he was on the phone wif his fren. Then left me there staring into space. Mcm budak bodoh plak die buat aku nie. I was really pissed off lah.. but naseb baik tahap kesabaran aku nie blom kat puncak lagy. By the time he finished his conversation, it was close to 3pm. Then he made a "brilliant" suggestion. He had to go to werk @ 5pm @ Clementi, so he asked me to relax 2 his house until 4pm, then otw to werk, he'll send me home. Ewah2... pandainye budak nie... org dah lambat nak balik rumah, die sengaja lambat2kan lagy plak... I told him my parents have been waiting for me to reach home for the past 3 hours, I hope he understands my situation. Tibe2 jer die mengamok. He said that I'm like "Kerbau dicucuk hidung", always following whatever my parents say and dunno how to think for my own sake. I told him back that if it's so hard for him to send me home, then just send me to Eunos MRT, I can go home by myself. Betol aper... dah dari kol 12 aku tunggu ko antar aku balik... and I've been tolerating wif ur nonsense... this is what u say to me. After that die mengamok ah... I looked @ the ground and said that he doesn't understand my situation, how my parents are. Then he forced me on the bike and sent me home. Bwk moto mcm org giler... main2 selit2 sana sini... betol sak dekni mcm nak kene smack jer ngan aku. When he dropped me off, he didn't even kissed me goodbye or said aniting, he just blast off. He left me standing @ the carpark all alone. Fcuk.
And for the past 3 days, we didn't contact each other. Until he msged me yesterday, "U don't even care whether I'm ok or not." I replied, "Becuz of certain sacrifices i make to spend time wif u, my mum did not talk to me for 3 days. N nw, my dad's in hospital admitted again. N u have da cheek to say dat i dun care for u wen u were the one who walked away from me without even looking back. Fikir sendiri ah. I malas nak ckp lagy."
He replied," Ur parents is so demanding!"
Fcuk lah! Yes, all parents are demanding wad. They wan the best for their child, cume kite jer tak faham kemahuan mereka.
Then I replied,"U r da one who's being demanding. U wan me to b lyke other gerls tapi hakikatnye, memang I tak boley sebab ada halangan dari pihak lain. U yg tak faham. U yg nak semua org ikot rentak u. If u dun understand my situation, then 4get about us."
He haven't replied until now. Biarkanlah... biar die fikir sendiri.
I've just got too many things on my mind.
About the overnyte thingy, my parents already suspected that I went out wif him. My mum asked me whether I'm serious wif him, whether I'm still wif him. I just kept quiet. Then she told me that if I'm serious, my dad would go to his house this week to meet his parents. He wants to talk to his parents, and is ready to marry me to him. Kire mcm nak lepas tangan ah. After that, he doesn't want to tanggung all my expenses, even my skool expenses. All of that will be paid by BF. I hate to be in this situation. He wants to force me to marry him cuz he doesn't wan to tanggung all the sins that I've done outside of marriage. I think. And also, he has already told me previously that he doesn't restu my relationship wif BF becuz my dad and his mum sepupu. We are already related.
What should I do????
Furthermore, right now.... I'm already feeling the uncertainty of my feelings towards BF. I feel as if... I no longer need him. It's like his presence doesn't matter anymore. I dunno lah. Actualli, the way out to all my problems are simple. Easy. End my relationship wif BF. Jalannye sudah terang. But to end this relationship, is not that simple. Ingat senang ke mcm budak2 matair skejap bey mintak break. I have to think deep..... choose the best way out.... to make everyone happy. It's not easy. Emotions will crack.
How ah?
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